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Chapter 1: The
Sky
For our first
challenge we'll look to the sky. 'Showing' the heavens
provides a conduit from the writer's concepts to the
reader's imagination. It's an opportunity to implant
first hand sensory input, rather than piling up cold
'telling' facts in gray matter storage. Pearl gray
skies, cloudless blue expanses, thunder or heat
lightning, all show information about the atmosphere
above us. Readers recognize the interaction between the
sky and the world beneath it. Clouds can provide
welcomed relief from the heat or dump heavy rains that
lead to the threat of flooding. Letting the reader 'see'
the clouds or lack of clouds, through descriptions,
gives information without directly 'telling' them things
like rain is on the way. Painting a rosy hue along the
horizon of the eastern sky gives a time of day without
telling the reader it is morning, while scuttling
charcoal clouds hiding the full moon shows different
detail. Let your words guide the reader down a trail of
sensory information to his or her own conclusions as the
world and its characters react and interact.
When I went
for my walk that day, I stepped from the door to a
breathtaking view. The first rays of sun colored the
sky. Within the first half block, I recognized the
challenge. How would I describe what I saw? I accepted
the formidable task and mentally worked through a list
of possible descriptive words. If I could learn to
manifest on paper what I saw in that sky, it would give
realistic glimpses into my world. Lifelike peeks at the
sky 'show' rather than 'tell' that the weather is hot,
cold, wet and rainy, or even the time of day or season
of the year.
Research
Research is a
necessary component of world-building. We cannot expect
to know everything but a good writer writes what they
'know'. A proficient writer hunts down information to
make their world more real and believable. I grew up in
the Midwest and know first hand what overcast looks like
and feels like, but how do you show overcast skies to
your readers? For instance when considering the sky, how
do I describe those clouds? I turned to google.com and
made a search.
There are three
types of clouds: low, middle and high. I already knew
this, but as I read these categories, various examples
flashed before my mind's eye. Low clouds include cumulus
fair weather clouds, cumulus clouds with signs of
development, and stratus clouds, which means, "stretched
out." Now that's a nice tidbit of information to help
describe a sky. As small as it is, it's a piece of
information I didn't know. I added it to my current base
of knowledge and realized that those layers of gray
clouds forming a ceiling above the northern suburbs of
Chicago were stratus clouds.
Cumulonimbus
clouds that mushroom from low to high while billowing
upward are a regular part of the scenery in Southwest
Florida, especially during the rainy season. In general,
cumulus clouds are puffy clouds that take on the shape
of familiar objects, (like the animals we imagined while
lying in green grass on a summer day as children).
However, the word nimbus tells us rain is coming and is
sometimes joined by lightning and thunder.
Middle clouds
include altocumulus and altostratus. Words like this
won't mean much to the average reader. Altocumulus
clouds look like the underside of a glass top table
covered with cotton balls. Enough sunlight shines
through these clouds to define the cotton ball type
clusters while forming a layer thick enough to hide the
blue sky. Like the altocumulus clouds, altostratus
clouds also allow sunlight to leak into thinner layers
of an overcast sky.
Shortly after
reading this information, I witnessed altocumulus clouds
from a plane's window. The change in perspective made a
difference. They resembled white caps on choppy seas.
Flying through the clouds provided a bumpy ride and a
great reminder that point of view (POV) alters
perception.
High clouds
include cirrus, cirrocumulus, and cirrostratus. Cirrus
means 'curl'. These high wispy clouds are actually made
of ice (something to consider if your world happens to
take place above the earth). This is ice we can see.
These bits of fresh detail offer ideas for plot twists
that I'd never consider, if I depended on my previous
base of knowledge.
Why do I bring
this up? To make a point. If you say low cumulus clouds
filled the sky, what do you see? Not everyone knows what
a cumulus cloud looks like. Are they white? Gray? How do
they fill the sky, or do they really "fill" the sky?
Research should not lead to the use of scientific words
that don't create an image for the average reader.
Instead, research gives the writer a deeper
understanding of how things work. This better equips
them to make the world realistic as they combine what
they know with descriptive detail. This is why I
challenged myself to study the appearance of the sky
everyday for a week and write down what I saw based on
the one sentence rule. More than a weather report, diary
or journal, this exercise helped develop the habit of
thinking about how to show others what I see. I made
sure to "look up" and take notice at different times of
the day and night.
Exercise 1A:
Research: The Sky
Gather
information about the wild blue yonder. No matter your
genre, every world has a sky. Whether writing about a
historical eclipse casting a shadow over the lives of
your characters, or setting them in a futuristic domed
city looking for a way to escape the harsh after effects
of nuclear war; the one thing each of these worlds holds
in common with present-day earth is a sky. This exercise
prompts you to research the heavens to better understand
the changes that take place and the reasons behind them.
Look for interesting elements you can use to bring the
sky in your world into focus. Suggested areas for
research include: clouds, weather patterns, regional
differences, seasonal changes or a particular category
specific to your storyline such as effects of nuclear
detonation on the atmosphere.
Note your
findings in a journal (from this point on the electronic
or manual collection of this information will be
referred to as your "journal"). The research data I
accumulated on clouds uncovered nuggets to help better
describe what I see and how light and density interact.
When you learn to show this detail, your world becomes
vivid in the reader's imagination and lets them see what
you want them to know without telling them about it. I
can't stress the importance of showing rather than
telling. It makes the difference between publication and
rejection.
Exercise
1B: Attention to Detail: The Sky and the Once Sentence
Rule
Once each day
for the next week, chronicle the sky you see. Keep the
description to one complete sentence for each day. This
exercise teaches you to measure your words and avoid
unnecessary and lengthy descriptions. It takes practice.
I developed this exercise in my efforts to avoid
'telling' language.
Don't worry
about trying to write the perfect sentence on your first
shot. Feel free to rewrite until you find the blend of
words that paints a picture of the sky you looked at
that day. I've included my own entries as an example. I
know some of these sentences need a little work. By the
time you read this book that work will be complete. The
purpose of including examples is to make clear what is
expected and to inspire you to do the same. In the
process you will witness the birth of my novel
Windwalker and my flip side novel Beyond the
Fifth Gate. At the end of the week, choose your
favorite description and explain why you like it.
Example:
Day 1: Pastel
layers hovered on the horizon anticipating the arrival
of the sun.
Day 2: Thick
clouds billowed like mushrooms toward the full moon high
in the crystal blue sky.
Day 3: Lavender
clouds clung to the horizon while a pink blush burned
across the early morning sky.
Day 4: Silent
thunderheads gathered like an army above the eastern
horizon.
Day 5:
Low-hanging gray clouds feathered into a semi-circle
across the sky.
Day 6: Orange
strobes of electricity radiated behind the walls of
clouds while intermittently exposing patches of the
night sky.
Day 7: Pearl
gray cumulus clouds piled high along the horizon like a
fence in the blue sky.
My favorite
I liked day
four's sky. "Silent thunderheads gathered like an army
above the eastern horizon." It not only describes the
sky but also offers a sense of foreboding. It's the kind
of detail which moves a story along by showing instead
of telling. I see the clouds and know a storm is coming,
but when living in Florida hearing thunder signaled the
arrival of rain in an hour or two. Day four's example is
definitely a sky I'll use in the future.
This exercise
does not have to be complete before you move on to
exercise 1B, but it's imperative that you complete it.
Don't let yourself or your world down.
Beyond the
week
After studying
the sky for a week, I found I paid more attention to the
clouds, color of the sky, stars, phase of the moon,
birds flying and in which direction. Busyness no longer
captures all my thoughts. I've developed the habit of
paying attention. While riding in the passenger's seat
the other night I glanced out the window and noticed: 'A
thin veil of cloud shrouded the quarter moon high
overhead.' Keep your world-building files current. I do
this on the computer. If you do the same, remember to
keep a backup. Your files become irreplaceable. I
schedule a backup the first of each month.
Another
approach when developing a world is to consider
something beyond reality. These exercises work wonders
for fantasy and science fiction writers, but can add
interesting twists to general fiction as well. This
section of weekly exercises is called On the Flip
Side.
This exercise
pushes beyond the realms of logic and comfort zones. It
leaves the land of ordinary and enters the bizarre. Some
call it 'thinking outside the box', but the design of
these exercises forces us think out of this world. Allow
yourself to have fun. Remember this is training. Prepare
to run a novel marathon or sprint through a short story,
but remember both take training to overcome the
'telling' hurdles and cross the 'showing' finish line.
Exercise 1C:
On the Flip Side: My Heavens!
When I enter the
On the Flip Side exercise, I usually feel like
I'm entering the realm of the impossible. What's the
flip side of the sky? The answer depends on the
writer. No answer is wrong (unless you leave the page
blank). Creativity blossoms when force-fed with the
fertilizer of Flip Side strategies. Things like
contrasts or opposites delve into the world of 'What
if?' Write a paragraph (or more) about a sky from the
flip side viewpoint. Below, find an example from my
journal:
Example:
The young woman
climbed to the opening overhead and peeked through the
crevice. Light green skies stirred her longing to be
free; she'd been lost in this maze for hours. She
pressed her fair cheek against the warm stone and caught
a glimpse of the azure sun lifting from the horizon.
Another day almost done and she was no closer to
completing her quest.
Flip Side
logic is evident to the writer while it creates an
alternate world for the reader. In this example, the sun
rises at the end of day, the sun and sky colors are cool
instead of warm, but notice I made the stone warm. In my
mind it should be cool. This offers a glimpse of subtle
flip side thinking. Another change that would not
be obvious to the reader is that I originally had a male
character in mind. The female protagonist opened new
possibilities I hadn't considered and gave birth to the
protagonist in my fantasy novel Beyond the Fifth Gate.
The world you create influences the character's
development. These short exercises generate ideas that I
can slip into my worlds to make them interesting and
different. It doesn't come naturally; it takes practice.
Not every
flip side detail will find its way into your
finished work. In fact, many don't. However they subtly
influence your writing.
Mapping or
Tracking
This writing
guide encourages the development of two worlds. Map out
each world as they take shape. Tracking the various
objects and details regarding the travels of your
protagonist(s) will prove useful. Lack of continuity can
distract the reader. Their attention may wander off
searching for lost a detail, such as a journal that
provided insight at a key moment early in the plot but
disappeared for the rest of the story. The reader may
puzzle over its whereabouts and wonder if it will
somehow provide more useful information at a strategic
point in the future. They watch for clues. Did it land
in the hands of the villain? Is there more information
your character needs to glean? If you don't resolve the
"What happened to the journal" question your story has a
problem. It's called lack of continuity. Tracking items
diminishes this risk.
Exercise 1D:
Reconstitute Your World: A Drop of Reality
Take one of the
sentences you developed in exercise 1A and incorporate
it in a short scene or paragraph. Following these steps
on a regular basis sharpens your skills and will add
small doses of reality to your fiction.
PUMPING YOUR MUSE
by Donna Sundblad
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